Saturday, 16 February 2013

All That's Missing Is A Zombie - Safe Haven Review (2013)

If you see the poster for Safe Haven and it looks a touch familiar, that’s probably because it’s penned by Nicholas Sparks, and there is little to tell his movie adaptations The Notebook, Dear John, and The Lucky One apart from a poster perspective. If your already thinking “oh my God!” things are about to get worse.

Starting strongly with a woman running seemingly for her life, the story follows Kate (Julianne Hough) who leaves the city, and sets herself up in a small coastal Safe Haven. As Kate settles in to this idyllic community, with a rural woodland home, and a working environment where she rarely has to work, you cannot help but fall in love with Safe Haven, if only for the point of view that you would love to live in such a perfect place. 

For one whole hour, Safe Haven is a predictable but enjoyable little drama, designed to warm the cockles of the coldest of hearts. When Kate meets up with Alex (Josh Duhamel), love is on the cards, and it all seems perfect. Then out of nowhere things all start to get bizarre, ridiculous, bat-shit crazy.

The exact point that everything goes wrong in Safe Haven, is difficult to put your finger on, but trust me it really does. Things first get irritating to the extent that you almost want to scream at the screen. Then things get stupid, where Safe Haven joins another dimension, and you realize that this is not the world, or the movie you bought into. Seriously the only thing this movie is missing is a zombie, and a kitchen sink, other than that it’s pretty much all there. 

I’m not quite sure where Safe Haven’s target audience is, it’s a little bit same old, same old; especially with its catastrophic similarities to 90’s movie Sleeping With The Enemy. It’s too stupid to appeal to the thirty-somethings, too random for the twenty-somethings, and anyone above or below those age groups it's bound to find something to irritate the hell out of them.

Nice performances, beautifully shot, stunning locations, absolute drivel as a story, with predictability at about 90%, and absurdity level at a much higher percentage.

See Safe Haven if you dare when it hits UK cinemas on March 1st.

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